By Carla Ezell

Being a success is often mistaken for being rich, beautiful, heavy laden with opportunities, meeting goals or other outward, results driven criteria. But I have found that success is not measured in physical accomplishments. It is best measured by inner growth. Success is a state of mind, not a state of being and definitely, not a bank statement. It is owning who you are, accepting yourself in every way and learning to love yourself even while you work on your growth points.

To that end, there are clear indicators by which we can define our level of success that have nothing to do with how many items we can mark off our To Do lists and Goal Calendars. While the definition of success is a positive result outcome, the measurement of it is not quite so black and white. If you are looking for tangible triumphs, perhaps you are looking for the wrong things. Success is an inside job that is reflected in outward results. Below are five measurements by which we can determine our level of success.

1. Happiness. Do you enjoy what you are doing in life? Do you wake up each day, ready for whatever is coming your way? Are you living a life you can be proud of? Happiness is not the same for everyone. It is personal. It is more than just a feeling. It’s a state of mind. If someone has billions of dollars, but can’t enjoy their riches because they are always worried, are they really successful?
   
   “To me, the definition of success is waking up in the morning with a smile on your face, knowing its going to be a great day”. Mark Cuban (owner of Dallas Mavericks, Chairman Axis TV)
   
   
2. Relationships. Having a positive support network of likeminded friends that encourage you to keep going when things challenge you is a very real measurement of success. Are your friends movers and shakers? Are they ride or die for you? Do they have optimistic views and positive attitudes and encourage the same in you when you are struggling over a hurdle? Can you be accountable to them when striving toward your goals? These types of relationships are priceless because they will push you beyond your current situation toward triumphs again and again.
   
   As the saying goes, “Pick your friends wisely because you’re stuck with family”. (unknown)
   
   
3. Personal Growth. When you reach a level of personal satisfaction, it doesn’t matter what other people think anymore. Somehow, others’ opinions of you take a back seat to the self confidence you develop as you check off accomplishments on your goals list. Successful people have a healthy dose of self confidence and their self esteem isn’t threatened by their circumstances. 
   
   
4. Determination and Resilience. Life can be challenging. It can push you beyond your comfort zone and really “stick it to you” sometimes. Things don’t always work out according to plans either, no matter how amazing the plan you laid out could have been. How you handle those struggles is what really matters the most. Having an insane work ethic despite setbacks and pushing through your doubts to achieve your goals when others would have given up long ago is a huge indication of a successful person.
   
   “Success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration”. Thomas Edison
   
   
5. Legacy. What you leave behind will tell the world how successful you were in life. Are you changing people’s lives for the better? Are you leaving an impact on society that will remain long after you are gone? How do you treat the people who can do nothing to repay you? These are all indications  of how successful a person is in life.
   
   “For Barak, success isn’t about how much money you make. It’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” Michelle Obama

Bringing it all together: measuring success is an inside job. It's personal and different for everyone. It is not so much goal oriented as it is health oriented. 

​“Success is liking yourself, liking what you’re doing and liking how you do it”. Maya Angelou

By Carla Helené Ezell

​They are doing all kinds of construction in my town. They are putting in new cobblestone corners on all the sidewalks, updating the fountain in the center of town and installing new crosswalks on the main streets, all in an effort to beautify the city. Wonderful.

While that's great and all, there are things that, in my opinion, should really be addressed first. I mean, yea, we want to live in a pretty town with flowers and trees lining each street and historical markers throughout to symbolize that we have endured the test of time and thriving. We encourage people to take care of their houses and properties to raise the value of our real estate and keep things moving forward in a positive way. But, before we address those outer appearance things that cost a grip in taxes, there are other things that should get some attention too. 

We have potholes in my town. Every road has potholes and broken cement and driving is ridiculous because you have to constantly swerve and pay close attention so you don't wreck your car. It's asinine. I have had blow outs from the shoddy patch work the lazy construction crews left behind. I literally blew out a tire because I hit a pot hole on one of the main streets and had to pay upward of $500 to replace the wheel (the entire mag was bent and undriveable) and the tire on car. DISGUSTING.

The point is, it is great to have pretty things and look like you've got your act together on the outside but when you haven't taken care of the garbage on the inside, when you haven't done the hard work of getting healthy, you are doing yourself and everyone you come in contact with a huge disservice. Just like the regular road maintenance required to prevent cracks or repaving the street after the gas mains were all replaced, you have to do the real work of getting healthy from the inside out. If you leave cracks and holes in the streets from one end of the town to the other, instead of repaving the roads, you are merely putting band-aids over the scars on your heart. 

Our experiences and past hurts change us. And if we don't let those wounds truly heal, we are bringing ourselves to a place of constant pain and neglect. When we don't correct the heart issues we are plagued with but just do all this work to beautify the outer layer - we are essentially putting lipstick on a pig. And who wants to kiss a pig?