By Carla Ezell

Being a success is often mistaken for being rich, beautiful, heavy laden with opportunities, meeting goals or other outward, results driven criteria. But I have found that success is not measured in physical accomplishments. It is best measured by inner growth. Success is a state of mind, not a state of being and definitely, not a bank statement. It is owning who you are, accepting yourself in every way and learning to love yourself even while you work on your growth points.

To that end, there are clear indicators by which we can define our level of success that have nothing to do with how many items we can mark off our To Do lists and Goal Calendars. While the definition of success is a positive result outcome, the measurement of it is not quite so black and white. If you are looking for tangible triumphs, perhaps you are looking for the wrong things. Success is an inside job that is reflected in outward results. Below are five measurements by which we can determine our level of success.

1. Happiness. Do you enjoy what you are doing in life? Do you wake up each day, ready for whatever is coming your way? Are you living a life you can be proud of? Happiness is not the same for everyone. It is personal. It is more than just a feeling. It’s a state of mind. If someone has billions of dollars, but can’t enjoy their riches because they are always worried, are they really successful?
   
   “To me, the definition of success is waking up in the morning with a smile on your face, knowing its going to be a great day”. Mark Cuban (owner of Dallas Mavericks, Chairman Axis TV)
   
   
2. Relationships. Having a positive support network of likeminded friends that encourage you to keep going when things challenge you is a very real measurement of success. Are your friends movers and shakers? Are they ride or die for you? Do they have optimistic views and positive attitudes and encourage the same in you when you are struggling over a hurdle? Can you be accountable to them when striving toward your goals? These types of relationships are priceless because they will push you beyond your current situation toward triumphs again and again.
   
   As the saying goes, “Pick your friends wisely because you’re stuck with family”. (unknown)
   
   
3. Personal Growth. When you reach a level of personal satisfaction, it doesn’t matter what other people think anymore. Somehow, others’ opinions of you take a back seat to the self confidence you develop as you check off accomplishments on your goals list. Successful people have a healthy dose of self confidence and their self esteem isn’t threatened by their circumstances. 
   
   
4. Determination and Resilience. Life can be challenging. It can push you beyond your comfort zone and really “stick it to you” sometimes. Things don’t always work out according to plans either, no matter how amazing the plan you laid out could have been. How you handle those struggles is what really matters the most. Having an insane work ethic despite setbacks and pushing through your doubts to achieve your goals when others would have given up long ago is a huge indication of a successful person.
   
   “Success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration”. Thomas Edison
   
   
5. Legacy. What you leave behind will tell the world how successful you were in life. Are you changing people’s lives for the better? Are you leaving an impact on society that will remain long after you are gone? How do you treat the people who can do nothing to repay you? These are all indications  of how successful a person is in life.
   
   “For Barak, success isn’t about how much money you make. It’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” Michelle Obama

Bringing it all together: measuring success is an inside job. It's personal and different for everyone. It is not so much goal oriented as it is health oriented. 

​“Success is liking yourself, liking what you’re doing and liking how you do it”. Maya Angelou

By Carla Helené Ezell

"A gift opens doors; it gives access to the great." Proverbs 18:16

​I grew up reading this scripture all the time. It has always been one of my favorites. To me, this scripture means that a person can do anything they set your mind to do. Their gifts, talents, callings... they will open doors and make room for someone and beyond honing those gifts and practicing so they are ready to proceed when the right doors open, all a person has to do is have fun moving forward into their destiny. That's it!

But on a deeper level, this passage meant that the playing field was level. A person's connections (or lack thereof) didn't matter as much as the abilities that God placed inside of them because when it came down to it, those abilities would be all that really mattered. One's background, no matter how enriched or how disadvantaged it may be, couldn't stop a person who was blessed with the ability to do something they were meant to do. This text meant, we are all special in an individually unique way and nothing and no one could stand in the way if someone was supposed to do something. Destiny.

How refreshing. How empowering! How naive.
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What I did not take into account in my youthful gullibility was that despite one's talents, things would not always be as easy as just doing the best one could and walking the path. Sometimes, there would be challenges along the way that threatened to relieve a person of their predestined path. There would be events and people along the way that try to actively stop them from succeeding. What a twist of fate, huh?  
But no matter, we were designed to overcome obstacles such as these.

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to do through me because it challenged them or made them uncomfortable for some reason. They had other ideas of what they thought should happen in my life or in their churches despite God's will He had so graciously revealed to me AND them. For various reasons, whether it was because they wanted someone else to take a position over me because I didn't know them as well as the other candidate did or they didn't care for my style so they tried to usurp my calling and play chess with my anointing... Man, I got stories for days...

But honestly, none of that really mattered. When the rubber met the road, those blocks did not stop what God wanted to do for me... through me... in me. All they did was create plot twists in  my story that made for a much more compelling read. What those setbacks did do was strengthen my faith. They forced me to remain humble and dig deeper into my relationship with God so I didn't miss what was in store. Character building experiences... that's what they became - moments in which I had to choose to become more than I had been before. 

I'm not saying it was easy by any means. It wasn't easy. It was really difficult. At times it felt downright impossible.

The point is this: do not let anything make you doubt what God said would happen. When you KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, do not stop doing it! Sometimes the manifestation looks different than you originally imagined it. So what! Sometimes the promise takes a little longer to arrive than expected. But trust me, it WILL arrive. And when it does, you have to be ready for it. So while you’re waiting, while you’re struggling to keep your faith strong, remember you are in a season of preparation. And when God says, “now”, you better be ready for immediate action.
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2 Timothy 4:2 says to be ready at all times. Be ready while you wait.

By Carla Helené Ezell
Seven minute read

permanent loss of hearing, ringing in the ear (tinnitus), and sometimes a feeling of fullness or pressure in your ear." The Mayo Clinic.

​I don't talk about it much because I prefer to ignore it. I also refuse to live a fragile lifestyle, and I  do not want others to treat me differently because they know I have a neurological disorder that challenges me in ridiculous ways they can't even imagine, every single day. There is no cure for this degenerative disease. Treatments consist of controlling the diet, getting plenty or rest and reducing stress as much as possible. And when I'm having a flair up, it can get extremely frustrating.

​Have you ever been in a bar with a friend and you couldn't hear a word they were saying to you over the music and den of voices? Yup, that's the story of my life. And it is very odd how it affects me - voices in a certain range are drowned out by the ringing I try to ignore and yet, sometimes, whispers are extremely loud and piercing. It is completely unpredictable. Fun, right? Imagine a rain storm in your ear, that never stops, never lightens up and never goes away and that rain storm creates pressure behind your ear that gives you a constant headache. And on days when I'm lucky enough to hear softer sounds, I have little, if any depth perception and cannot pin point where the sound is coming from. 

On top of that, the dizzy spells that hit without any real warning are debilitating. I once rolled off a table when the doctor blew warm air into my ear canal. There was no reason to move, but man, I didn't have a choice. His response? "Oh, you're used to dealing with this, aren't you? That is a typical response to this test when someone has been dealing with this for a while."

Nice.

Listen, I'm a Harley rider. But rather than giving up the dream of having my knees in the breeze, I got a trike instead because I refuse to give up or live in fear of a random bout of vertigo.  Life is too short to let fear rule me. And if all of that wasn't enough, there's more. People with Meniere's have these random symptoms that have no real rhyme or reason and they face challenges other's can't even fathom. It is very difficult to be "normal" when your brain and body are working against you. Meniere's Disease bypasses a person's ability to cope with stress and strong stimuli. We literally can not deal because our brain disengages from coping mechanisms, creating extreme physical reactions. How did my body react to this wonderful symptom? Ulcerative Colitis. Yup. My body developed a whole new condition, closely related to Crohn's Disease, because stress did a number on my system and my brain couldn't help me manage it. [insert eye roll here]

Yes, we all get awkward sometimes especially when thrown into uncomfortable social situations - it's taxing to say the least. But it's far easier for me to say, "oh, I'm a pescatarian" when going out to eat with friends because that means I took charge and made a decision for my life. What I rarely share is that while I made the choice to be a pescatarian, I didn't make that choice just because I wanted to be bougie and not eat meat. I did it because I have ulcerative colitis that is out of control and a regular diet is out of the question for my wellbeing. I refuse to live under a rock or on strong medications to control the UC but the alternative is beyond embarrassing. In 2017, I gained over 50 pounds in less than 3 months due to the strong steroids the doctors put me on when I was admitted to the hospital with uncontrollable cramps and bleeding. Now I struggle to lose the weight. The extra weight is not good for my body - it throws my back out all the time and I feel like I aged 15 years in a matter of months. I was an athlete when I was younger - literally an Olympic hopeful so being overweight and ill ALL. THE. TIME is just unacceptable. 

And don't even get me started on the depression people with Meniere's face. I'm naturally a happy person, and I try my best to always find the silver lining inside the clouds of life. But man, there are days when that is extremely difficult. And it's not because I'm feeling blue or something random happens that gets me feeling that deep pull. I mean, yea, I have those days/moments too. Everyone does. But this is more than that. Depression is another symptom of Meniere's that can hijack a person's ability to see things clearly. Why do you think Marilyn Monroe chased a bottle of pills with her alcohol of choice? Why do you think Van Gogh cut off his ear? Yup - both of those lovely and melancholy souls struggled with... you guessed it, Meniere's Disease. Lovely.

The point is this, people with degenerative diseases adjust so they can try to keep living and thriving to the best of their ability. But that doesn't mean they aren't still struggling or fighting to be "normal" or at least perceived as normal. Everyone has a cross to bear. We all have things that challenge us. But if we let those challenges stop us from moving forward or enjoying our lives, we have failed at the one thing that makes life worth living; the joy of living itself. 

So I challenge you to live your life to the fullest. Do not let your set backs destroy your resilience. Learn to embrace them and allow them to change you, strengthen you, mold you into a better individual. And when you see someone struggling for some unknown reason, rather than judging them or ignoring them, try reaching out. You never know if your act of kindness may bring you some much needed joy too.❤️

By Carla Helené Ezell

​They are doing all kinds of construction in my town. They are putting in new cobblestone corners on all the sidewalks, updating the fountain in the center of town and installing new crosswalks on the main streets, all in an effort to beautify the city. Wonderful.

While that's great and all, there are things that, in my opinion, should really be addressed first. I mean, yea, we want to live in a pretty town with flowers and trees lining each street and historical markers throughout to symbolize that we have endured the test of time and thriving. We encourage people to take care of their houses and properties to raise the value of our real estate and keep things moving forward in a positive way. But, before we address those outer appearance things that cost a grip in taxes, there are other things that should get some attention too. 

We have potholes in my town. Every road has potholes and broken cement and driving is ridiculous because you have to constantly swerve and pay close attention so you don't wreck your car. It's asinine. I have had blow outs from the shoddy patch work the lazy construction crews left behind. I literally blew out a tire because I hit a pot hole on one of the main streets and had to pay upward of $500 to replace the wheel (the entire mag was bent and undriveable) and the tire on car. DISGUSTING.

The point is, it is great to have pretty things and look like you've got your act together on the outside but when you haven't taken care of the garbage on the inside, when you haven't done the hard work of getting healthy, you are doing yourself and everyone you come in contact with a huge disservice. Just like the regular road maintenance required to prevent cracks or repaving the street after the gas mains were all replaced, you have to do the real work of getting healthy from the inside out. If you leave cracks and holes in the streets from one end of the town to the other, instead of repaving the roads, you are merely putting band-aids over the scars on your heart. 

Our experiences and past hurts change us. And if we don't let those wounds truly heal, we are bringing ourselves to a place of constant pain and neglect. When we don't correct the heart issues we are plagued with but just do all this work to beautify the outer layer - we are essentially putting lipstick on a pig. And who wants to kiss a pig?

By Carla Helené Ezell

Performers usually know instinctively how to find their light. It's simple. Don't stand in dark spaces on stage. Sounds easy enough, right? Of course it does. So why do we struggle to find our light in life? I don't think this answer is quite so easily found as looking for a follow spot. I mean, no one is holding a spotlight on us when we are walking down the street (at least I hope not - we can save that ​drama for Reality TV stars). In real life, we have to go out and find that light for ourselves, but conceptually, the same rules apply.

What is finding your light?  Well, for the sake of this blog series, your "light" is your "truth". It means, figuring out your "reason for being" and then living your life in a way that reveals your truth through every thought, word and action. Walking in your purpose means doing and becoming what you were born to do and be. It is why you are here on this planet and it is inherent to you alone. Your "why" is your destiny (if you believe in such things). It is the most important work you will ever do on this planet and the most rewarding thing you will ever do too.

Finding your "light" is the key to living your best life. Have you ever seen someone with an inner glow? I mean, they just have this shine that radiates from inside and brightens your day? Chances are, that person found their light and is walking in it every day. As a result, their life is infused with joy, and peace and all these amazing things, despite any challenges they may be facing. They seem to have this secret that empowers them to be a truly wonderful person. They are healthy and balanced and people gravitate toward them. Yup, these are all outward characteristics of a person who has found their light and walks in it regularly. I want that. Don't you?

Man, there is so much to unpack here. I will be posting this series in weekly installments. So please stay tuned! This is going to be so good! 💞

​Carla Helené Ezell